Barclays Premier League Broadcast Schedule on ESPN

“… on its new channels ESPN in United Kingdom”? Is that English, or ESPNglish?
In any case, I hope ESPN will use English in the UK, unlike on its US channels, for which they have adopted Cablespeak and run armies of ex- and wanna-be jocks through broadcast schools to deliver with as many syllables and as much diaphragm as possible. Unlike the Orwellian version, this corporate Newspeak is built on gimmicks more than euphemism–skipping prepositions, articles, and one syllable words in general, avoiding the past tense, conditional/subjunctive mood and complete sentences, laying on intensifiers (very first, every single, huuuuuge), adding Latinate padding to plainspoken turns of phrase (“one-on-one situation” for “one on one”, “third down situations” for “third downs”, forwards “available in the wide area” for “open on the wing”, “scoring opportunity” for “shot”, and its love for words that take many syllables to say little (actually, opportunity, absolutely, scenario). Fox announcers got the same memo from corporate, but ESPN will outFOX them in the gimmick game. Here’s how an ESPN announcer would call Jack and Jill:
“Both Jack as well as Jill actually going this particular hill area for the opportunity to fetch an available pail water, Jack literally falling to downward position, impacting his crown area, Jill in a tumbling process as well.” Packaged in Anaheim English, pumped up and pimped out, will the beautiful game still be beautiful? Brian